Making Amends
by TheFandomMuncher
Summary: It was a strange thought, and he was filled with numbness as Dave shoved past him, the touch cold and unfamiliar, a quiet gasp leaving his mouth. He couldn't watch Dave leave him. No. Please. Dave was going. Dave wouldn't be coming back once he left. Reviews are very much appreciated!


**This will properly be the last Homestuck related fanfic for a while. SORRY GUYS. But this is a rather long one, for me anyway, it's taken me about 4 months of on and off work because I seemed to get writers block constantly, but yes. This fanfic at times will make you have those 'FEELS'. **

**You have been warned. **

Making Amends

"_Why are you striving these days?_

_Why are you trying to earn grades?_

_Why are you crying?_

_Let me lift up your face…_

_Just don't turn away…_

_Why are you looking for love?_

_Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?_

_To where will you go child?_

_Tell me, where will you run,_

_To where will you run."_

Dirk pulled his short over his head, carefully making sure not to rearrangement his shades, a frown plastered across his face, why was he doing this again? Oh yes, the younger Strider had wanted to try out his artistic skills by painting his older couldn't-care-less brother, what a bother. He stepped down and sat onto the sofa which was opposite the poker face younger boy.

"You're such a fucking dickhead." Dirk stated calmly, as he followed Dave's points and wordless instructions to get into position. Eventually he was lying sideways on the sofa, one leg hanging off the sofa arm, he was precariously balanced and agitated, not at all in the mood for Dave to paint him, oh well he thought he'd get his revenge. Maybe kick his ass a little.

"Now don't say a fucking word, I want this to be good, so don't fuck it up bro." Said person muttered as he watched his brother carefully, examining every single part of his older brothers half naked body, seen as he had told him to only wear underwear… It certainly seemed like the brothers were out to get each other this time, their cool but often ridiculous sounding ideas frequently failed as they tried incessantly to out do each other. It truly was preposterous but who's to say that this wasn't their way of showing affection to each other, if not getting a few cuts and bruises along the way. But lately they had spent less and less time together, instead falling into a pattern of walking in the house the occasional 'sup?' and then a sporadic 'see ya' this would only happen though if Dave was going to stay at John's house or Dirk at Jake's, but most of the time they would neglect the fact that they were failing to see each other, habitually arriving home at different times and not-being-bothered-to-get-up-and-say-hi- seemed to happen a lot; this meant erratic strifing sessions which lasted majority of the time a mere hour. Although both brothers acted like they could care less, deep down both of them had wanted to spend longer periods of time together, instead of this stupid sporadic meeting system, so as you can probably tell Dave jumped at the chance of being able to spend more then an hour with his older cooler brother, although this feeling was immersed within his heart, he'd vowed to himself to never tell a soul. Albeit Dirk felt similar, if not exactly the same however this feeling of Dirks was a lot deeper inside him then Dave's; instead of just leaving the feeling to fester and grow he had it sealed up tight in a chest made of his inner essences, how unfortunate for both of these males will have to bring these deep unsaid feeling up to the surface once and for all, it certainly wasn't going to be a cool event.

The moment Dave began to silently draw Dirk shifted uncomfortably, his younger brothers intense gaze sweeping over his body through those black shades of his made him uneasy and slightly self conscious, it never felt like that when Jake had seen him like this, not at all, but this didn't feel like embarrassment, no it was something…something stronger then that.

After a seemingly awkwardly silenced half an hour it was Dave who broke the silence, his voice sounding upset and so unlike Dave that it took a long moment before Dirk could reply.

"When did we stop being brothers? We never see each other anymore, I feel like you have no fucking time for me." Dave's stroking hand with the brush was steady and seemed so contradictory to his words which were giving his true inner feelings away, showing him breaking up inside, his eyes squinting behind the shades, suddenly glad that his brother couldn't see his red eyes which were trying desperately not to let the flow of tears fall.

"I thought you said I couldn't say a fucking word." Dirk replied a meek smile flourished on his face, but it disappeared as he saw the slight downturn of Dave's lips, his eyes picking up the fact that Dave was chewing his inner cheek, a sign of nervousness perhaps. He wasn't stupid enough to not recognise the pain that seemed to be coursing through Dave at that moment, anyone could see this unenthusiastic young boy was throbbing with internal anguish, but Dirk didn't want to address this issue, no…because he knew if he did he would break down too.

"Fine…Don't fucking speak then, it's just…oh never mind I mean it's not like you seem to give a damn, with you its all about Jake this, Jake that…" Dave growled, his lower lip trembling with the rage he had worked so hard to keep hidden, the strokes with the brush beginning to turn violent and aggrieved. An unnoticed tear trekked down Dave's angrily red cheeks, as he began to carefully paint in Dirks boxers, jabbing his brush into a splodge of black paint irately.

"I'm sorry…" He heard Dirk mutter, Dave's eyes widening behind his shades, disbelief that his brother even knew such a word, after all it was such a tedious word.

"Don't worry br-Dirk…" Dave grunted. "You can go soon, all I need to do is your legs and then you're free to do whatever the fuck you want." Dirk flinched upon hearing and digesting his brothers' harsh words, he'd even gone as far as to call him by his name not the usual 'bro.' Dave must be seriously angry.

Guilt smacked into the older teen like a bulldozer, knocking the breath out of his inner soul, as on the outside he was calmly staring at his brothers' canvas whilst inside his body, turmoil and shame wracked his body with pain and grief.

"Dave…I…" He began but was swiftly shut up by Dave.

"Don't bother; I'm better off on my own…or with John. Whatever. I mean who actually gives a flying fuck? Obviously not you." Fingers gripped the paint brush hard, the wooden handle was threatening to break under Dave's concentrated grip, his knuckles white and his face empty of emotion. There was just no point anymore.

The atmosphere was heavy, the air much more tense then it had ever been before in the house of the Strider's, this kind of thing would never happen here, al these things would normally go completely unsaid, instead both boys would replay their small problems with each other to their significant others; John and Jake, but never to each other at least not like this. Even Dirk wasn't an expert when it came to this type of fight, but he decided that he would need to be the responsible adult in this situation and take Dave by the hand and lead him through it. But what one says and does are two different things.

"You're always spending time with John; don't put all the fucking blame on me. You aren't being fucking fair Dave." Dirk felt like smashing his head onto the carpeted floor…hard. What the fuck was wrong with him today? He tore his eyes away from the canvas, instead resting his gaze on his brother, guilt burning up inside him, making his skin warm, too warm, annoyingly warm and then suddenly bitter feeling sneaked up beneath his perfectly toned skin.

"I know…I fucking know that you dick! But…but at least I'm making an effort, at least I'm not cruel enough to ignore the issue at hand…" He added snidely his inner self begging for a reaction from his older brother, knowing his words would hit a wedge within Dirk's head, it was the reason why he said them, he didn't want to inflict too much pain on his brother but he couldn't help himself, the situation was just too easy.

"Oh so…so I'm the fucking cruel one now? Seriously Dave? You're taking that route? Jeez you can be such a motherfucker sometimes!" Dirk sat up on the sofa, absolutely seething with rage, his younger brother dare to call him cruel when he was the one who was trying to mend this, Dave was just as fucking bad as him! He stormed over to his brother, glaring down at him, watching as Dave cautiously laid the paint brush into a cup of water before glaring back at Dirk, fires raging in both eyes.

Leaning back Dave tried not to flinch as his brother leered down at him, swiftly Dirk slapped Dave's glasses off, not caring as Dave's face turned with his hard hitting hand. He felt the red mark appearing on his face, his insides boiling with uncontained rage, sure they had had strife's and fights, but Dirk had never slapped him like this before, never had he felt such raw rage seeping out of his older brother.

"Me a motherfucker? You need to get your facts right dickwad! You're so fucking obsessed with Jake! I mean do you love him more then you love me, your own brother? Your own flesh and blood? You know what? Fine. I'll leave. You don't have to see me ever again, I'll go move in to John's house, I'm sure he won't mind, he probably loves me more than you do in a million years anyway. Dickhead."

Dave stood up, the cup of water with the paint brush in fell to the floor, the water splashing over the carpet, soaking it to the floorboards beneath, Dirk merely stared at his brother in utter disbelief, he couldn't comprehend the fact that he had just wacked his younger brother harder then he should have, and the fact that Dave had brought the fact about that he loved Jake more than his own flesh and blood. It was a strange thought, and he was filled with numbness as Dave shoved past him, the touch cold and unfamiliar, a quiet gasp leaving his mouth.

He couldn't watch Dave leave him. _No. Please._ Dave was going. Dave wouldn't be coming back once he left. Dirk would be alone. He'd be...so...alone.

"WAIT!" Dirk yelled, rushing towards his brother, he couldn't watch him leave him, that would be too much for him...that would feel like the moment before he had asked Jake out...that awful feeling of what would happen if he rejected me? And the loneliness that would follow. Thank god Jake hadn't rejected him...but now Dave was leaving him instead...?

His own brother? How could he be so stupid...to forget that he should be there for Dave as well...to be forever with him...because Dave wanted him to be there, it was clear now, Dirk had to be the big brother he claimed to be, once and for all.

He whipped Dave around, holding his shoulders tight before dropping his left hand and pulling his shades off, and throwing them to the floor, hearing them crack and break before diving down and kissing Dave's gaping lips, his eagerness not going unseen by Dave who attempted to push him off, but failed miserably.

Instead settling for standing completely still as Dirk attempted to kiss him, but it was when a sudden feeling was passed through kiss, a strange warm fuzzy feeling, it was a scary prospect and Dave felt tears prickle in his eyes, he needed his brother more then anything, he longed for him.

As Dirk pulled away opening his eyes slowly he watched in fascination as a silent tear trickled down Dave's cheeks, leaving his distressed eyes behind and dripping off his chin, the sight brought Dirk to tears, what had Dave done to deserve this…this selfish older brother? Gently Dirk lifted up Dave's chin, the tears were coming thick and fast now, and Dave tried to turn his head away, tried to wipe his eyes, but Dirk wouldn't let him, he couldn't let him hide this anguish anymore, he had to see what he had done…so that he could learn from it.

Butterfly kisses were placed gently on Dave's forehead, as Dirk encased him in a hug, holding him tightly, scared that he would loose this important person because of his own foolishness. Shudders of sobs broke through Dave's body as he wrapped his own arms around Dirk's hard body, feeling all the muscles tense and flex beneath his touch.

"I was…scared…confused…" Dave mumbled into Dirk's chest, the warm flesh bringing him home once more, it had been too long that Dave had been away from this.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…Dave…I'm sorry…I've been an awful big brother to you…I'm so sorry…" Dirk sniffled, resting his face in Dave's hair, the soft feather like blonde hair so was different to Jake's, but he felt so warm wrapped up in Dave's arms, this was a different type of love then the love he felt for Jake. The thought confused Dirk greatly as he tightened his arms, it was as if he was holding Dave to tight so that the world couldn't have him, no…Dave was so close but still it wasn't close enough. But he deemed it true that he was acting undeniably selfish but he didn't care, no, he couldn't care because if he did, he would have let Dave walk out of that door, he would've let Dave leave…forever.

"I'm selfish Dave. I'm so selfish…I'm an egotistical idiot. Forgive me…please…I can't let you go…I won't let you go…I forbid you from leaving me…forgive me…I can't watch you go…I refuse to watch you go…no…Dave…" Dirk cried out incoherently into Dave's hair, tears splashing out of his own eyes, he shook his head suddenly letting go of Dave and kissing him again, his lips furiously blending together with Dave, he wanted to be close…why wasn't he close enough? Why? WHY?

He slammed Dave's back into the wall, fingers leaving red lines as they ran down Dave's arms, hands locked together, but Dirk raised Dave's arms up that he was pinned against the wall with his hands were besides his face, trapped beneath Dirk's much larger hands.

The tears from both boys stopped within the minute of being in this new strange position, is this something most brothers do? Probably not.

Dirk's unclothed chest leaned against Dave's as he slumped into the wall, his chin resting on Dave's head once more, a subdued whimper left Dave's lips, and he hoped that his older brother hadn't heard.

But he had heard. Dirk _had_ heard the sound of distress coming from Dave, the utter desperation Dave was feeling came across to Dirk as if someone had chucked it at him. Quietly he ground his teeth together, his jaw moving slightly atop Dave's head, he knew that he had done wrong in the past, and he wanted to show Dave how sorry he was, because words were just…just not enough.

"Dave I…" He began but stopped, unsure of what to say next, his hands tightening and locking more firmly around Dave's, pushing them harder into the wall behind him. It was an unconscious reaction that brought about the next kiss, an embarrassing buck of the hips from Dave into Dirks sent his mind into turmoil, and heatedly he kissed Dave's mouth, greed practically emanating from him. His tongue explored the many regions of Dave's mouth, running it over Dave's teeth, flicking his tongue playfully, obliviously Dirk began rhythmically thrusting his hips forwards into Dave's own, grinding their crotches together.

A hiss left Dave's lips when Dirk finally pulled away, both feeling quite light-headed from the amazingly long kiss; Dave's head dropped backwards and let a small moan out, not all too gently thrusting his hips into Dirk's, the friction sending sparks of electricity through both boys blood.

"Have you been a bad boy…Dave? You were going to leave me…you've been a very bad boy…and bad boys need to be punished…" Dirk mused quietly, nudging Dave's nose with his own, pulling Dave away from the wall and letting go of Dave's limp arms he instead took up a handful of blonde hair, twisting it roughly in his hands upon hearing Dave whimper quietly.

Dirk dragged him out of the room, encasing him in his arms and lifting him up limply as he made his way up the staircase, kicking his bedroom door open, the room he hadn't been in for months.

Smuppets. Everywhere. A smirk appeared on the elder Strider's lips as he slammed the younger boy onto the Brony blanket covers which sat untidily on the double bed, thoughts of Jake were locked away in a chest at this moment in time, all Dirk could think about was this younger…more troubled…confused brother.

"B-Bro...Wh-What about Jake...?" Dave moaned to Dirk as the elder climbed onto the bed above him, his hands pushing Dave's red and white t-shirt up, the material resisting his hands as it bunched up beneath Dave's neck. Dirks moves were rushed as he scratched at Dave's skin pulling the in useless material off Dave's moaning body.

"What about him?" Dirk growled back at Dave after he had gotten the obstruction away, his fingers gliding over the soft, warm skin, it was a nice feeling under the tips of his rough hands.

He pulled back momentarily to see the object of his impending desire, his face darkened slightly by a small blush, but he was pleased with Dave's writhing body beneath him, it made him feel...powerful...dominant.

Dave opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when Dirk suddenly removed one of his hands from his chest and instead pulled brutally at his blonde hair, causing him to screech in agony, he couldn't understand why his brother was being so rough with him, he'd never been like this before, not even when they fought.

Dave thrashed his an arm trying to get it free from beneath his back, but his brothers knees tightened around his waist, possessing him, making him cry out, as if begging him to stop, but he knew he never would.

"Wh-why?" He whimpered as the hand that caressed his chest moved slowly down, there was the sound of buttons being ripped open and a zip being pulled down Dave recognized this as his jeans, because soon enough he felt the material being pulled forcibly down his pale legs, a warm hand was kneading his thigh gently.

"Ngh-I-Br-" He couldn't even speak right as Dirk's hand moved to cup his crotch, his back arching slightly, his brothers touch was a lot more brutal then John's touch ever was.

The material of Dave's black boxers began to slowly get wetter, drips of precum soaking into it, letting Dirk know what Dave was perhaps unintentionally feeling.

"Why? … Because Dave…because I never want to lose you." Dirk spoke softly, his hand tightening slightly on Dave's crotch, his lips descending onto Dave's as a single tear trickled from his eye, splashing onto Dave's cheek.

Dave blinked, the feeling of something cold and wet landing on his cheek, he absentmindedly kissed his older brother back, his mind trying to figure out just what had landed on his cheek, it had come from bro's eyes…could he…be crying?

What a strange concept, Dave mused quietly, the fact that Dirk was crying scared him a little. He felt the need to comfort him, to hold him until bro felt better, to save him from this awful depressing atmosphere by filling it with love, and sex if need be.

Dave wrapped his pale arms around Dirk, kissing his skin desperately, wherever he could possibly reach, his urgency reaching his older brother as moans of approval left both boys mouths as fingers wandered across delicate skin.

Their feelings of devotion and admiration for each other flooded through their actions as their bodies moved in sync, cries left Dave's crying lips as Dirk relentlessly pulled at his hair, digging his nails into his scalp, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his behind as his older brother persistently slammed into him, hard and steady.

Dave stretched out his arms in front of him as he attempted to steady his shaking body, his legs shook uncontrollably, tears leaking from his tired eyes.

"Br-Bro…" He gasped out, wincing as Dirk thrust into him harder, his head knocking into the headboard, his arms began to shudder violently, hands clenching the messed up bed sheets.

His head span as he entered his high, his cum leaking out beneath him, but Dirk kept ramming into him, not caring as Dave cried out, no…because of his own selfish desires, that is the reason he wanted to hurt Dave. He was angry with him, distressed by both their actions and most of all he felt ashamed.

He always had thought of himself as a shallow guy, but when this moment was suddenly upon our dear Dirk, the realisation that he could indeed feel these messed up feelings sent him into a frenzy.

They lay there. Both breathing deeply. Their bodies sticking together. Sweat and cum smothering their bodies like an extra skin. Fingers shaking as they twisted and played with the others hand, it was so warm. Blood droplets decorating the sheets, the scent of sex surrounding them as they curled up next to each other. It was intoxicating.

Dave turned his head to look up at the ceiling, a bead of perspiration dripping off his eyebrow, he paid no attention to the tears that leaked uncontrollably out of his eyes, he knew that if he did then they would never stop.

'_Eventually the tears will cease and everything will be like before…was that so wrong?'_

Dirk turned his head ever so slightly, peering at his younger sibling, his heart aching within him as he watched his brother cry shamelessly, he moved a weary hand to Dave's face, trying desperately to wipe these tears away, to stop his brother from feeling weak, to save him…no…to save himself because he didn't want to cry…but tears welled up as Dave turned to him, blurry eyes, the expression on his face a strange one.

But no one could stop these two brothers now.

No one but themselves.

It was them…against the world.

"_Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall,_

_In the dead of night whenever you call, _

_And please don't fight these hands that are holding you,_

_My hands are holding you. _

_Look at these hands at my side,_

_They swallow the grave of that night,_

_When I drink the words in so I can carry you in,_

_And give you life (I wanna give you life)."_

**So that's it. Written by me. COPYRIGHT~ANDREW HUSSIE. **

**Maybe this is the end of it…but maybe I'll right another. We shall see where my destiny takes me, yes?**

**I'm going to be writing Full Metal Panic stories now~**

**ConverseRapist out~**


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